10.31.17
Swamped...
"The Fake News is working overtime. As Paul Manafort's lawyer said, there was 'no collusion' and events mentioned took place long before he came to the campaign. He was long known to be corrupt before I hired him–that's WHY I hired him! Few people knew the young, low level volunteer named George–which is WHY I made sure to introduce Papadopoulos as my oil and energy consultant–excellent guy– during the campaign. George had already proven to be a liar which is WHY I hired him. Check the DEMS! I hope people will start to focus on our Massive Tax Cuts for Business (jobs) and the Middle Class (fake). We must work quickly before the swamp is completely drained and all my swamp creatures are exposed–put in cages. And now the facts are pouring out. DO SOMETHING!"
10.30.17
Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow the Money…
"Look what you've done!! I'm melting, melting....Also, there is NO COLLUSION!"
#LemonLaw
10.29.17
Fools Rush In...
"All of this 'Russia' talk right when the Republicans are making their big push for historic Tax Cuts & Reform. Is this coincidental? NOT! It's no coincidence that the FBI, CIA and Homeland Security knew plenty about 'Russian Interference' and said nothing before the 'election'. No coincidence that the special prosecutor waited until our historic Tax Cuts to announce indictment. Mueller HATES Tax Cuts!"
#LemonLaw
10.28.17
The Big Shot Fires from the Grassley Knowledge?...
"After strict consultation with General Kelly, the CIA and other agencies, I will be releasing Mueller from ALL his duties and continuing to deny any involvement with Russia during the campaign. I am doing this for reasons of full closure, transparency and in order to put any and all conspiracy theories to rest that I would actually go so far as to fire Mueller."
#LemonLaw
10.27.17
That Smarts...
"Well, I think the press makes me more uncivil than I am. You know, people don’t understand. I went to an Ivy League college. I was a nice student. I did very well. I’m a very intelligent person. You know, the fact is, I think, I really believe, I think the press creates a different image of Donald Trump than the real person. He knows a tremendous–no one thought he could win the electoral college. He was smarter than the popular vote. He could have won the popular vote, but it was smarter not to."
#LemonLaw
10.26.17
The Love Festers...
"I think we had a–I called it a lovefest. It was almost a lovefest. Maybe it was a lovefest. But we–standing ovations. There is great unity. I will say this: I think the Republican Party has a pretty good unity. When I looked at that room yesterday at lunch–The fact is there was tremendous unity in that room, and we're really unified. We're really unified on what we want to do. I could have called it an orgy. I believe–I believe it was an orgy. If you look at the Democrats with Bernie Sanders and Hillary Clinton, that's a mess. No lovefest. There’s great unity in the Republican Party. It's a lovefest. I came up with that term, 'lovefest'!"
#LemonLaw
10.25.17
Well Far-Gone...
"The meeting with Republican Senators yesterday, outside of Flake and Corker, was a love fest with standing ovations, ass kissing and great ideas for USA! Ideas like standing up for consumers so they won't have the trouble of suing community banks like Wells Fargo that open fake accounts for them."
#LemonLaw
10.24.17
Out to Lunch...
"So nice being with Republican Senators today. Multiple standing ovations! Most are great people who want big Tax Cuts and success for U.S. I think it was the biggest crowd ever in the history of the world."
#LemonLaw
10.23.17
Fed for Thought: Lemon Verbatim to Fill the Vacancy...
"It is in my thinking. And I have a couple of other things in my thinking. But I like talent. And they are both very talented people. And it’s a hard decision. It’s actually a very important decision. People have no — most people have no idea how important that position is. That position is actually — more — a lot of people get rid of the Fed.
Take the Fed out. That’s a very important position. It’s also important psychotically."
#LemonLaw
10.22.17
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Korea? How do you hold a moonbeam out of hand? Lemon Verbatim...
"You would be shocked to see how totally prepared we are if we need to be. Would it be nice not to do that? The answer is yes. Will that happen? Who knows, who knows, Maria."
#LemonLaw
10.21.17
Empty Bowels...
"I didn’t say what that congresswoman said. Didn’t say it at all, she knows it. Democrat Congresswoman (whatever her name is) totally fabricated what I said to the wife (whatever her name is) of a soldier (whatever his name was) who died in action (somewhere in Africa) (and I have proof). Sad! I have proof because Kelly is a very elegant man–a tough, strong four-star Marine. And now that I've eaten his brain like it was a taco bowl–we have the best taco bowls!–I can make him go out and say what I want."
#LemonLaw
10.20.17
Working Pro Bozo...
"Workers of firm involved with the discredited and Fake Dossier take the 5th. Who paid for it, Russia, the FBI or the Dems (or all)? I would never pay for it. Totally dumb to pay for things. The lawyers for me and Don Junior are paid for by the RNC."
#LemonLaw
10.19.17
Lemon Verbatim Scores Himself on His PR Relief Response: The President Can F Himself...
"I would give myself a 10."
#LemonLaw
10.18.17
Lemon Verbatim Presents: Tweedle D and Tweeter Dumb...
"I know very much what they're doing. Lamar has been working very, very hard with the Democratic – his colleagues on the other side, and Patty Murray is one of them, in particular. And they're coming up and they're fairly close to a short-term solution. The solution will be for about a year or two years, and it will get us over this intermediate hump."
"I am supportive of Lamar as a person & also of the process, but I can never support bailing out ins co's who have made a fortune w/ O'Care."
#LemonLaw
10.17.17
Virtually Is Its Own Reward...
"I don't know what Obama's policy was. I write letters and I also call. I have called, I believe everybody, but I will use the word virtually everybody. I will use the word virtually everybody imaginable. I imagine calling people. Sometimes I hold my hand up to be a pretend phone. Sometimes I just hold my hand up. Sometimes I really do talk to people on the phone. When I claimed Obama didn't make calls to families of dead soldiers, that could be true. Somebody could have said it to me. I have made up much, much bigger claims so this one is virtually true."
#LemonLaw
1o.16.17
Lemon Verbatim Replaces Obamacare with No-Fault Insurance...
“But we’re not getting the job done. And I’m not going to blame myself. I’ll be honest, they are not getting the job done.”
#LemonLaw
10.15.17
Going Missile Toe to Toe: Lemon Verbatim Says Merry Christmas Again...
“There are also many people who believe that Iran is dealing with North Korea. I am going to instruct our intelligence agencies to do a thorough analysis and report back their findings beyond what they have already reviewed.”
#LemonLaw
10.14.17
Mean Time...
"ObamaCare is causing such grief and tragedy for so many. Such grief and tragedy for so many Republicans in Congress who promised to repeal and replace it. They couldn't do it! Seven years! It is being dismantled but in the meantime, premiums & deductibles are way up! We are going to push the premiums so high–SO HIGH–that the healthcare system will just explode. And then we're going to say Merry Christmas again!"
#LemonLaw
10.13.17
Lemon Verbatim: The Fix Is In...
"We cannot keep FEMA, the Military & the First Responders, who have been amazing (under the most difficult circumstances) in P.R. forever!"
"The Democrats ObamaCare is imploding. Massive subsidy payments to their pet insurance companies has stopped. Dems should call me to fix!"
#LemonLaw
10.12.17
Lemon Verbatim and His Debts of Knowledge...
“The country — we took it over and owed over $20 trillion. As you know, the last eight years, they borrowed more than it did in the whole history of our country. So they borrowed more than $10 trillion, right? And yet, we picked up $5.2 trillion just in the stock market. Possibly picked up the whole thing in terms of the first nine months, in terms of value. So you could say, in one sense, we're really increasing values. And maybe in a sense we're reducing debt. But we're very honored by it. And we're very, very happy with what's happening on Wall Street."
#LemonLaw
10.11.17
General Warning: Lemon Verbatim...
"It's frankly disgusting the press is able to write whatever it wants to write. And people should look into it, No, I want to have absolutely, perfectly maintained — which we are in the process of doing — nuclear force, But when they said I want 10 times what we have right now, it's totally unnecessary, believe me, because I know what we have right now. We won't need an increase but I want modernization and I want total rehabilitation. It's got to be in tip-top shape...I know the capability that we have, believe me, and it is awesome, it is massive, and when they make up stories like that that’s just made up. They have their sources that don’t exist; in my opinion they don’t exist. They make up the sources. There are no sources."
#LemonLaw
10.10.17
Lemon Verbatim Uncorkered on PR Visit...
“They had these beautiful, soft towels. Very good towels and I came in and there was a crowd of a lot of people. And they were screaming and they were loving everything. I was having fun, they were having fun. They said, ‘Throw ’em to me! Throw ’em to me, Mr. President!’. So next day they said, ‘Oh it was so disrespectful to the people.’ It was just a made-up thing. And also when I walked in, the cheering was incredible."
#LemonLaw
10.9.17
Lemon Verbatim Uncorkered on PR Visit...
“They had these beautiful, soft towels. Very good towels and I came in and there was a crowd of a lot of people. And they were screaming and they were loving everything. I was having fun, they were having fun. They said, ‘Throw ’em to me! Throw ’em to me, Mr. President!’. So next day they said, ‘Oh it was so disrespectful to the people.’ It was just a made-up thing. And also when I walked in, the cheering was incredible."
#LemonLaw
10.8.17
Lemon Verbatim Gushes from the Primed Pump...
“I think one of the greatest of all terms I’ve come up with is ‘fake.’ I guess other people have used it, perhaps, over the years, but I’ve never noticed it”
#LemonLaw
10.7.17
Lemon Verbatim to Launch a Fresh and Really Funny Comedy Show...
"Late Night host are dealing with the Democrats for their very "unfunny" & repetitive material, always anti-Trump! Should we get Equal Time?"
#LemonLaw
10.6.17
Pulling Out All the Stops...
"You guys know what this represents? Maybe it's the calm before the storm. We have the world's great military people in this room, I will tell you that. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. NO PROTECTION! And uh, we're gonna have a great evening, thank you all for coming."
#LemonLaw
10.5.17
Boys Make Up...
"Why Isn't the Senate Intel Committee looking into the Fake News Networks in OUR country to see why so much of our news is just made up-FAKE! Rex Tillerson never threatened to resign. This is Fake News put out by NBC News. Low news and reporting standards. No verification from me. He never called the President a moron. I'm NO president! They should apologize for not investigating me more while we were stealing the election!"
#LemonLaw
10.4.17
It's Mourning Again in America...
"America is truly a nation in mourning. If you look at the — every death is a horror, but if you look at a real catastrophe like Trumpcare and you look at the tremendous hundreds and hundreds of people would die and what happened here with a sick, demented man that was just totally overbearing. No one has ever seen anything like that. We're not going to talk about gun violence today."
#LemonLaw
10.3.17
Lemon Verbatim Takes Stock in Rebuilding PR, Throws in Trump Towel...
"I hate to tell you, Puerto Rico, but you are throwing our budget out of whack. We spent a lot of money on Puerto Rico, and that's fine. We saved a lot of lives. If you look at the — every death is a horror, but if you look at a real catastrophe like Katrina and you look at the tremendous hundreds and hundreds of people that died and what happened here with a storm that was just totally overbearing. No one has ever seen anything like that. What is your death count?"
#LemonLaw
10.2.17
Lemon Verbatim Awards Damages...
"On behalf of all of the people of Texas, and all of the people - if you look today and see what is happening, how horrible it is but we have it under really great control - Puerto Rico and the people of Florida who have really suffered over this last short period of time with the hurricanes, I want to just remember them. And we're going to dedicate this trophy to all of those people that went through so much that we love - a part of our great state, really part of our great nation."
"My warmest condolences and sympathies to the victims and families of the terrible Las Vegas shooting. God bless you!"
#LemonLaw
10.1.17
Jet Fool...
"This huge tax cut will be rocket fuel for our economy. A giant, beautiful, massive — the biggest ever in our country — tax cut. You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them."
#LemonLaw