11.30.17
Rocket Fool and His Match...
"It's incredible. But we're back to the strong days of our banks. And not the days of trouble – pre-that – we're back to the – where bankers can make loans and slice and dice. And really make a giant bubble with the stock market and everything because we got rid of the paperwork and all the regulations. We have tremendous support for this plan. And we're really pouring rocket fuel on the economy. Tremendous. Because these massive tax cuts will be rocket fuel – Little Rocket Man – rocket fuel for the American economy. He is a sick puppy. But I am the match."
#LemonLaw
11.29.17
Chuck & Nancy – Building AWOL on a Budget...
"Before this meeting and before this missile launch, they've been weak on military. In terms of spending, they're very hard to get the military -- they want it for a lot of other things, but the military is always secondary to them. The military, to me, is number one. We won't be here without our powerful military, and we're building it up stronger, bigger, better than ever before. A strong military is essential to any authoritarian government. We will need a powerful military when they come to take us away."
#LemonLaw
11.28.17
Schumer or Later...
"Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi did not show up for our meeting today. I'm not really that surprised. We have a lot of differences. They're weak on Crime, I am strong on Crime. My crimes are the BIGGEST! But I also do little crimes. Sometimes I do things that are just very vulgar."
#LemonLaw
11.27.17
Lemon Verbatim Honors Navajo Veterans with Code Talk to Debase...
"You were here long before any of us were here. Although we have a representative in Congress who they say was here a long time ago. They call her Pocahontas."
#LemonLaw
11.26.17
Time Passes...
"Time Magazine called to say that I was PROBABLY going to be named “Man (Prick) of the Year,” like last year, but I would have to agree to an interview and a major photo shoot. I said probably is no good and took a pass. You could say I made a pass. I moved on her, actually. Thanks anyway!"
#LemonLaw
11.25.17
Respectively...
"Can you believe that the disrespect for our Country, our Flag, our Anthem continues without penalty to the players while my companies repeatedly broke the law and I have defied the constitution as president without repercussion. Unbelievable! Players should remember that they were once slaves – they should be grateful and thank ME!"
#LemonLaw
11.24.17
Lemon Verbatim Turkey Call – Easy Peacey...
"Will be speaking to President Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey this morning about bringing peace to the mess that I inherited in the Middle East. I will get it all done, but what a mistake, in lives and dollars (6 trillion), to be there in the first place! After Turkey call I will be heading over to Trump National Golf Club, Jupiter, to play golf (quickly) with Tiger Woods and Dustin Johnson. Then back to Mar-a-Lago for talks on bringing even more jobs and companies back to the USA!"
#LemonLaw
11.23.17
Make America Grateful Again.…
"It wasn’t the White House, it wasn’t the State Department, it wasn’t father LaVar’s so-called people on the ground in China that got his son out of a long term prison sentence - IT WAS ME. IT'S TIME TO THANK ME, YOUR DEAR LEADER! ME, ME, ME!"
#LemonLaw
11.22.17
Running Afoul of the Law...
"Today, we continued a wonderful American Tradition at the White House. Drumstick and Wishbone will live out their days in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains at Gobbler’s Rest. Our administration will keep this great tradition alive in the future like never before! Many more Turkey Pardons to come!"
#LemonLaw
11.21.17
Moore Ally Bankrupt...
"He denies it. Look, he denies it. If you look at what is really going on, if you look at all the things that have happened over the last 48 hours. He totally denies it. He says it didn't happen. And you know you have to look at him also. He says, 40 years ago, this did not happen. Every time he sees me, he says, ‘I didn’t do that'. I really believe that when he tells me that, he means it. I mean it's the kind of thing I would say. And also, 40 years ago – I mean those women are all grown up so you couldn't really call it child molestation now. But I can tell you, you don't need somebody who's soft on crime like Jones."
#LemonLaw
11.20.17
Like Clockwork...
"Big-Game Trophy Tax-Cuts decision will be announced next week but will be very hard pressed to change my mind that this horror show in any way helps conservatives, GOP or any other Elephants. Tax cuts really designed to just help large corporations and the rich. Under President Trump unemployment rate will drop below 4%. Analysts predict economic boom for 2018 followed, like clockwork, by a bust after the removal of property tax deductions destroys the housing market. Real Horrorshow! I've taught you much, my little droogies."
#LemonLaw
11.19.17
From Locker Room to Lock Her Up...
"The Al Frankenstien picture is really bad, speaks a thousand words. Where do his hands go in pictures 2, 3, 4, 5 & 6 while she sleeps? That's where my mind goes! You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful –"
"Crooked Hillary Clinton is the worst (and biggest) loser of all time. She just can’t stop, which is so good for the Republican Party. You know, she didn't lose because the Russians influenced the election. She lost because America hates the idea of a competent woman in charge. Believe me!"
#LemonLaw
11.18.17
Big Game...
"Put big game trophy decision on hold until such time as I review all conservation facts. Under study for years. Will update soon to see if Senate passes my Big-Game, Tax-Cut Trophy. Big Goal! Killing is fun and the bill might even kill the economy. Sick people, too. But people say it might not look so good – I will look at it. Thank you!"
#LemonLaw
11.17.17
Dems's da Brakes....
"If Democrats were not such obstructionists and understood the power of lower taxes, we would be able to get many of their ideas into Bill! Their ideas that I am a self-dealing, authoritarian-wanabee, Putin-puppet could be written right into law without the guise of just tax cuts for corporations and the rich."
#LemonLaw
11.16.17
Marking the Passing...
"I am proud of the Rep. House & Senate for working so hard on cutting taxes {& reform.} We’re getting close! Now, how about ending the unfair & highly unpopular Indiv Mandate in OCare & reducing taxes even further? Cut top rate to 35% w/all of the rest going to middle income cuts? We will cut middle income! Only four tax brackets: poor, very rich, super rich, filthy rich. When people don't have to get healthcare, the economy will take off. When the sick pass, America is STRONGER."
#LemonLaw
11.15.17
A Clockwork Lemon…
"While in the Philippines I was forced to watch CNN, which I have not done in months, and again realized how bad, and FAKE, it is. Loser!The next morning I woke up at oh eight oh oh hours, my brothers, and as I still felt shagged and fagged and fashed and bashed and my glazzies were stuck together real horrorshow with sleepglue, I thought I would not go to school."
#LemonLaw
11.14.17
A Show of Intelligence – Lemon Verbatim Declining Russian Word: Putin, Putout, Putup, Putdown, Puton, Putover...
"What I said is that I believe he believes that Russia did not interfere. I believe that he feels that he and Russia did not meddle in the election. As to whether I believe it or not, I am with our agencies, especially as currently constituted with the leadership. I believe that our intel agencies, our intelligence agencies, I work with them very strongly."
“What he believes is what he believes. What I believe is that we have to get to work. And I think everybody understood this that heard the answer."
#LemonLaw
11.13.17
Carpet Diem...
“It was red carpet like nobody, I think, has probably ever received. And that really is a sign of respect, perhaps for me a little, but really for our country. And I’m really proud of that. Duterte and I have a great relationship. Duterte's red carpet for me was like a river of blood that I was walking down. Really fantastic! I had to laugh when he joked about calling the reporters spies because he really does kill a lot of people."
#LemonLaw
11.12.17
Lemon Verbatim and the True Test of His Meddle...
"He said he didn’t meddle. He said he didn’t meddle. I asked him again. You can only ask so many times. But I just asked him again, and he said he absolutely did not meddle in our election. He did not do what they’re saying he did."
"He just — every time he sees me, he says, 'I didn’t do that.' And I believe — I really believe that when he tells me that, he means it. But he says, 'I didn’t do that.' I think he’s very insulted by it, if you want to know the truth."
#LemonLaw
11.11.17
Lemon Verbatim on Moore and Moore Documents…
"Well again, I've been with you folks, so I haven't gotten to see too much. Believe it or not, even when I'm in Washington or New York, I do not watch much television. I know they like to say that. People that don't know me, they like to say I watch television - people with fake sources. You know, fake reporters, fake sources. But I don't get to watch much television. Primarily because of documents. I'm reading documents. A lot. And different things. I actually read much more - I read you people much more than I watch television. So anyway. I have not seen very much about him, about it. And you know, I put out a statement yesterday that he'll do the right thing."
#LemonLaw
11.10.17
Candidate Lemon-Verbatim and Lemon Verbatim Where Credit Is Due...
"We can't continue to allow China to rape our country and that's what they're doing. It's the greatest theft in the history of the world."
"I give China great credit!"
#LemonLaw
11.9.17
Candidate Lemon-Verbatim and Lemon Verbatim Where Credit Is Due...
"We can't continue to allow China to rape our country and that's what they're doing. It's the greatest theft in the history of the world."
"I give China great credit!"
#LemonLaw
11.8.17
Stock Market Hits All-Time Heist...
"The reason our stock market is so successful is because of me. I've always been great with money, I've always been great with jobs, that's what I do. And I've done it well, I've done it really well, much better than people understand and they understand I've done well. I did a lot of great bank jobs. They never knew what hit them. See, I'd go in and get a really, really big loan and then my associates would say, 'Forget-about-it.' I think investors will be surprised at how quickly their money goes!"
#LemonLaw
11.7.17
Full of Fire and Fury, Signifying Nothing...
"The era of strategic patience is over. It is now the era of nonstrategic impatience."
#LemonLaw
11.6.17
"A Mental Health Problem at the Highest Level"...
“I think that mental health is your problem here. Based on preliminary reports, a very deranged individual, a lot of problems for a long period of time. But, this isn’t a guns situation. If you look at it closely, I rolled back regulations making it harder for the mentally ill to buy guns. So that's really crazy! It's really a mental health problem."
11.5.17
His Justice Deserts...
“You know, the saddest thing is that because I’m the president of the United States, I am not supposed to be involved with the Justice Department. I am not supposed to be involved with the F.B.I. I’m not supposed to be doing the kind of things that I would love to be doing. And I’m very frustrated by it. I'll be honest with you, I thought being president was about having complete power, being completely corrupt, and using the Justice Department to lock up my political enemies."
#LemonLaw
11.4.17
Capitol Gains...
“The Democrats will say our tax bill is for the rich, but they know it’s not. Now the poor will have to pay more and the middle class won't have deductions–so it's for them too. The Democrats want to raise taxes and really create obstruction, like real airbags, and the Republicans want to lower taxes which is like rocket fuel for the economy. Businesses will drink up all the rocket fuel and drive the economy like never before."
#LemonLaw
11.3.17
Lemon Verbatim with the Vacancies in Mind...
"Let me tell you, the one that matters is me. I'm the only one that matters, because when it comes to it, that's what the policy is going to be. You've seen that, you've seen it strongly."
#LemonLaw
11.2.17
Having the Brains to Keep Calm...
“I’m not under investigation, as you know. And even if you look at that, there’s not even a mention of Trump in there. It has nothing to do with us. I’m actually not angry at anybody. I just got fantastic poll numbers. I’m in the office early and leave late; it’s very smooth. Honestly, I’m really enjoying it. Really, I would say I'm a zombie. I go upstairs after dark and eat human brains.The best brains are from the Trump Tower Grill!"
#LemonLaw
11.1.17
The Home Despot and the Bump Stock Market...
"The terrorist came into our country through what is called the 'Diversity Visa Lottery Program', a Chuck Schumer beauty. I want merit based. We are fighting hard for Merit Based immigration–letting in people who can afford to come stay at my luxury hotels while I am president. They could spray bullets out the windows at people using bump stocks on their gun-show, semi-automatic rifles instead of truck rental from Home Depot and shooting with paintball and pellet guns."
#LemonLaw